I’ll be honest with you. There have been rumors about me and about the fact that I am prejudiced. Some people have confronted me directly about it.
According to them, my prejudice against blonde girls is out of control.
Even though some of the people who have said this actually knew me really well, I knew they were wrong and made sure not to listen to a word they said. I’m pretty sure that hands down I have been able to talk them out of their assumption by pointing to the following five things. If you have encountered a similar problem, here is a step by step guide of how to convince yourself and others that you are not in any way prejudiced.
5. I have attended many blonde events.
When you are convincing someone that you are not prejudiced, this is the point in the conversation where you should start listing all of the events you have ever been to where there were blond people.
I have been enriched culturally from going to events where all the girls have blonde hair. It has been wonderful to be exposed to sub-cultures I was never aware of. For example, did you know that cheerleading is a sport? Or that Miss America contestants study six hours a day for their interview questions? I think that my open-mindedness in all-blonde circumstances (you should list all of the events at this point) proves that I am not prejudiced.
4. I’ve never formed a hate group.
This is where you should mention that you have never done anything to negatively affect blonde girls.
I am not prejudiced because I do not go out of my way to ruin the lives of blonde girls. I have never formed a BARM (Blondes Are Really Mean) group or tried to take away their rights in any way. I am not hateful against any human beings, and blondes are no exceptions. I would be the first to tell you that there are many girls that are smart, beautiful, and able to hold a conversation despite being blonde. I wish nothing but the best for all the blonde girls out there and if you look at everything I’ve ever done you would see that I have never in any way done anything hateful towards blonds or affected them in a life-altering manner.
3. I realize there isn’t actually any difference between brunette girls and blonde girls.
If you run out of material in this section, it is also a good place to mention that you have never made a blonde joke.
Girls are girls, and so I can say with complete confidence that I understand how blond girls feel. I have had my share of struggles- after all, there is certainly at least 1 brunette joke for every 10 blonde jokes. So I understand what it’s like to be blonde. I actually think that girls talk about their hair color too much and, if anything, should just realize that we are all equal- brunette or blonde (redheads too). It actually starts to bothers me when a blonde girl talks about how people are prejudiced against blondes. Her life obviously isn’t any different than mine and you never hear me complaining about how hard it is to be taken seriously as a brunette.
And I’m not prejudiced because I don’t go around making blond jokes all day.
“What’s black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who’s told too many blonde jokes.”
2. I never use the word “blonde” in front of blond girls.
Refer to the term that you do not use that could be construed as derogatory.
I know for a fact that a lot of girls who have grown up blonde can get very defensive as soon as the word “blonde” is used. I never meet a girl and call her a “blonde” or refer to her that way when she is around. I really only feel the need to mention the word “blonde” when a girl is rubbing her blonde-ness in everyone’s face (after all, every stereotype has some truth to it), and even then, I use the term after the fact.
For example: let’s say I’m at a party and a blonde girl comes walking into a room in high heels and starts like-talking-like-this-hehe while eyeing the cutest guy in the room. Later, when I am recounting the story to a friend, mentioning that she was “a dumb blonde” really only contributes to the story, and is nothing but accurate. It doesn’t mean that I am prejudiced because when I first meet a blonde girl, I am always careful to make a mental note to give her a chance. Besides, in situations like this, the girl’s hair is often dyed blonde, and the purposefully blonde hair paired with the purposefully outrageous behavior can only be described to others using certain universal terms (that the person is obviously trying to fit).
1. I have blond friends.
This is where you should mention all of your friends who are blonde and exaggerate your closeness.
I have blonde friends.* I’m even RELATED TO blond girls!**
And believe me, you would never even know they were blonde if you really got to know them.
There I am, the one brunette! See, I’m cool with the blondes!
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*and I hope that they realize that this post is completely tongue-in-cheek.
**and I hope that I realize that I am going to someday birth small blonde babies.
Beloved One 
david
May 27, 2011
you are most certainly not prejudiced against blond men!
abelovedone
May 27, 2011
it’s true! i should add that to the list.
the ives unplugged
May 27, 2011
My sister is blond and my family and I have always tried to treat her as a “normal” 🙂
abelovedone
May 27, 2011
Lol. I can only hope I have the same tolerance when I have a blond daughter someday!! It’s inevitable.
Kara
May 27, 2011
Whoever said that is ridiculous! I will stand up for you! You married into a BLOND family! MY FAMILY! 🙂 I’ve never felt you were prejudiced against me. Or maybe??? lol
Only thing here is that when talking about just women, it is blonde rather than blond.
And yes, it is inevitable. Plan for ALL blond children. You married into some ridiculously dominant Swedish genes! The blond hair has won out for the past 2 generations over brown! Maybe your gorgeous blue eyes will beat out Erik’s green/hazel (He got those from the German part of the family). Either way you’re going to have beautiful Lindemanns!
abelovedone
May 27, 2011
No, I am not secretly prejudice against your blond hair :). As I said, this post is very facetious. And yes “blonde” can be the right word to use for women, because it’s gender specific, but “blond” is actually gender neutral so you can use it either way. 🙂 I tried to mix it up with both throughout the post! And don’t worry, I am ready for little blond kids someday! I’m sure I will think they are the most adorable children on earth and will be prejudiced against everyone else at that point, haha!
Lindsey
May 27, 2011
if a blonde dies her hair brown (or black… my preference when dying hairs), do you still secretly hate her b/c “once a blond, always a blond,” or has she successfuly redeemed herself to you and to society?
I LOVE YOU and all of your clever posts. please publish yourself.
abelovedone
May 27, 2011
Please publish myself! Sounds violent 😉 And I think a girl is a girl no matter her haircolor… even redheads.
Theresa
May 27, 2011
LOL!!! And yes, don’t forget to step up for the redheads 😀
abelovedone
May 27, 2011
glad you liked this!! and yes, i’ve even dyed my hair red before… does that count in proving i’m in support of redheads? 😉
the777man
February 23, 2012
Oh I laughed all the way through this post! I have been a blonde since birth, and yes it goes clear to my roots. My sister and I use to hassle girls who had died their hair blond, as we didn’t feel they had the right to do so because they had not endured all the teasing we had as children growing up as tow heads. We were down right mean to them… I have to admit! I use to get so mad at swimming lessons when the male teacher referred to me only as blondie.
So okay, I only use the blonde thing when I want to, or want something… Like back when gas stations still had both self serve and full service isles. I would drive into the self serve isle with no intention of fueling my gas tank and then flash the blonde smile at the attendants. Next thing I new I had one filling my gas tank, one washing my windows, and one looking for my engine in the front hood of my car. That one always bothered me because even a blonde knows Italian convertibles have the engine in the back of the car! OMG!
I have somewhat outgrown that stage though and besides it is hard to really pull of the whole blonde thing when you have a bachelors degree that you got in 3 years and graduated at the top of your class. Oh and I am usually the first one to tell dumb blonde jokes, and it really doesn’t matter what color your hair is… You can still be a blonde! Trust me I have seen some brunettes that must of gotten in the wrong line when they were getting ready for earth, because they were seriously lacking the in the department of brains! Blonde is an attitude and it is so easy to pull off… Any one can do it, but there is just something about blondes that make it a little easier to pull off. Just look at someone who has been brunette all their lives and then decides to go blonde, she suddenly can walk into a room and pull the attitude off perfectly!
This was a funny post! Enjoy your little blondes when they are born as I can tell you they may not stay blond all their lives. In my German Family we do, but most don’t!
sj
abelovedone
March 16, 2012
I’m so glad this made you laugh and that you came across my blog :). It’s interesting to hear the point of view from “the other side.” There’s a chance I’m going blonde this summer… if I do, I’ll let you know if I can pull off the gas station miracle haha!!