Sluts and Stones

Posted on November 3, 2010


I don’t believe in sluts.

Let’s start this post by taking a little quiz. Please try your hardest to answer each of these questions honestly. In your head or on paper, make sure you know your answer to each one before you continue.

It would be interesting to hear each others’ answers!  I’m willing to guess that there were several of those you couldn’t decide on.  You probably want to ask me more questions, or would say something like, “It depends.”

Let’s take #2 for example: If a girl has sex with someone else’s boyfriend, is she a slut?

Scenario 1: Eventually this girl, who slept with someone else’s boyfriend, ends up marrying that guy because they were destined for each other all along.

Scenario 2: This girl had sex with your boyfriend.

You or I could do that for each question and vacillate between whether or not said girl is a slut.  When we say something like “it depends” about a label like “slut,” we are saying, “tell me the whole story and then let me decide.”

It is not yours to decide.  It is not mine to decide.

There is no such thing as an objective definition when the person making the call is a human being.  I believe (see, there I go) that as soon as a human sees through his human eyes, or touches with her human hands, or examines with his mind that is saturated with his experiences, the judgment is going to be subjective. As soon as it is our job to determine whether a girl is to be dubbed a slut- a term, by the way, that feeds into a sexist concept, and that will cast a shadow over her entire life both personally and socially,  whether she heard you whisper it or not- we are being subjective.  And that is a pretty dangerous thing to let men and women go ahead and be subjective about.

I do not believe humans, as a group or individually, can determine what is moral and what is not.  So who do I believe the definitive source of all morality is?

God (I know, you are probably shocked by my answer and didn’t see this coming).

As a Christian, I believe that we can know God’s character in part by looking to Jesus. The trite phrase “What Would Jesus Do?” actually means “What Would God Do?” to a Christian. We actually have an answer to that question in many circumstances, because Jesus lived on earth and interacted with men and women and was confronted with a variety of temptations and circumstances that we can look to and say- that is what God would do.

Jesus was confronted with a “slut.”

We all know the story.  I can almost hear the buzz of the mob as they stood waiting to stone the adulterous woman.  She had been caught in the act, there was definite proof, and apparently (maybe even after saying, “It depends?”) the crowd had decided that she deserved to die for her sin.  The Pharisees had been waiting to catch Jesus in a trap that would give them the ability to condemn him to die, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.  They asked him what to do with the adulterous woman.  There was no right answer!

God himself had told Moses that adultery was an offense you should be killed for, so how could Jesus disagree with God (especially since he had claimed to be God)?

Jesus was teaching love and mercy, and so how could he condemn a woman to die?

We all know what happens next.  Jesus said, “May he who is without sin cast the first stone,” and all of the people there looked at each other and at their hearts and snuck back to their houses, because they were all sinful.

There is one detail that people often overlook in telling this story, however.

Jesus was without sin.

Jesus could have bent over and picked up a stone from the ground and commenced the stoning of the slut.  He was perfect, he was God, and he could have cast the first stone with full authority.  But he did not.  Actually, instead of killing her, he took the punishment and died for her.

When you love someone so much that your greatest desire is to see them relieved of their guilt (and you are willing to take the consequences of their sexual promiscuity, and the labels they have earned for themselves, and be punished for them, in order for that to happen), and you have never once sinned yourself, then, maybe then, you can call them “slut.”

A lot of Christians face scenarios that are eerily similar to the stoning of the slut.  We see something that is a sin, or someone that is sinful, and as representatives of God we fight for holiness.  We pick up the stone and we throw it as hard as we possibly can, in Jesus’ name.

Yes, Jesus could have thrown the stone.  But he did not.  And it is not our job to throw it for him.

Posted in: Seriously