5 Ways to Prove You Aren’t Prejudiced

Posted on May 27, 2011


I’ll be honest with you.  There have been rumors about me and about the fact that I am prejudiced.  Some people have confronted me directly about it.

According to them, my prejudice against blonde girls is out of control.

Even though some of the people who have said this actually knew me really well, I knew they were wrong and made sure not to listen to a word they said.  I’m pretty sure that hands down I have been able to talk them out of their assumption by pointing to the following five things.  If you have encountered a similar problem, here is a step by step guide of how to convince yourself and others that you are not in any way prejudiced.

 5.  I have attended many blonde events.

When you are convincing someone that you are not prejudiced, this is the point in the conversation where you should start listing all of the events you have ever been to where there were blond people.

I have been enriched culturally from going to events where all the girls have blonde hair.  It has been wonderful to be exposed to sub-cultures I was never aware of.  For example, did you know that cheerleading is a sport?  Or that Miss America contestants study six hours a day for their interview questions?  I think that my open-mindedness in all-blonde circumstances (you should list all of the events at this point) proves that I am not prejudiced.

4. I’ve never formed a hate group.

This is where you should mention that you have never done anything to negatively affect blonde girls.

I am not prejudiced because I do not go out of my way to ruin the lives of blonde girls.  I have never formed a BARM (Blondes Are Really Mean) group or tried to take away their rights in any way.  I am not hateful against any human beings, and blondes are no exceptions.  I would be the first to tell you that there are many girls that are smart, beautiful, and able to hold a conversation despite being blonde.  I wish nothing but the best for all the blonde girls out there and if you look at everything I’ve ever done you would see that I have never in any way done anything hateful towards blonds or affected them in a life-altering manner.

3.  I realize there isn’t actually any difference between brunette girls and blonde girls.

If you run out of material in this section, it is also a good place to mention that you have never made a blonde joke.

Girls are girls, and so I can say with complete confidence that I understand how blond girls feel.  I have had my share of struggles- after all, there is certainly at least 1 brunette joke for every 10 blonde jokes.  So I understand what it’s like to be blonde. I actually think that girls talk about their hair color too much and, if anything, should just realize that we are all equal- brunette or blonde (redheads too).  It actually starts to bothers me when a blonde girl talks about how people are prejudiced against blondes.  Her life obviously isn’t any different than mine and you never hear me complaining about how hard it is to be taken seriously as a brunette.

And I’m not prejudiced because I don’t go around making blond jokes all day.

“What’s black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who’s told too many blonde jokes.”

2. I never use the word “blonde” in front of blond girls.

Refer to the term that you do not use that could be construed as derogatory.

I know for a fact that a lot of girls who have grown up blonde can get very defensive as soon as the word “blonde” is used.  I never meet a girl and call her a “blonde” or refer to her that way when she is around.  I really only feel the need to mention the word “blonde” when a girl is rubbing her blonde-ness in everyone’s face (after all, every stereotype has some truth to it), and even then, I use the term after the fact.

For example: let’s say I’m at a party and a blonde girl comes walking into a room in high heels and starts like-talking-like-this-hehe while eyeing the cutest guy in the room.  Later, when I am recounting the story to a friend, mentioning that she was “a dumb blonde” really only contributes to the story, and is nothing but accurate.  It doesn’t mean that I am prejudiced because when I first meet a blonde girl, I am always careful to make a mental note to give her a chance.  Besides, in situations like this, the girl’s hair is often dyed blonde, and the purposefully blonde hair paired with the purposefully outrageous behavior can only be described to others using certain universal terms (that the person is obviously trying to fit).

 1. I have blond friends.

This is where you should mention all of your friends who are blonde and exaggerate your closeness.

I have blonde friends.*  I’m even RELATED TO blond girls!**

And believe me, you would never even know they were blonde if you really got to know them.

There I am, the one brunette! See, I’m cool with the blondes!


 *and I hope that they realize that this post is completely tongue-in-cheek.

**and I hope that I realize that I am going to someday birth small blonde babies.

Posted in: Wicked Funny