Some Advice on #78

Posted on October 13, 2010

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Penelope is the only girl on the road in the MTV show “The Buried Life.”
On their website there is an FAQ section where the boys are asked, “What’s the hardest thing on the list?”  They answer: “Go to space and fall in love. Maybe run a marathon.”  At least they recognize how far from falling in love they are.

Stop by stop, the genuine rascals on this show cross an item off their bucket list, and help someone cross an item off theirs.  I thought the show was pretty sweet, and I was so jealous of the lifestyle these boys had managed to create for themselves, until I watched the episode about item #59: Ask out the girl of your dreams. In this case? Meghan Fox.

Perhaps I should just stop there.  After all, Meghan Fox does seem to be the common denominator in all things sexist and demeaning. But I don’t want to call the boys sexist or condescendingly linger on all the lingering the camera did on Meghan’s big asset.  I just wanted to tell Dave, Ben, Jonnie and Duncan that if you are for real life about #59… you’re going to have to let a real girl IN your life.

When I was in high school and my early years in college, I thought that On the Road was my favorite book.  Until I read it in a literature class. I read it slowly, and I thought about it, and I wrote papers on it, and then I kind of realized that the book had nothing to do with me. Women in the book are abandoned, stop by stop, and are never more tangible than a drug trip or a fantasy.  Unfortunately, something about the “on the road” lifestyle seems to embrace this view of women, and the Buried Life boys have fallen prey.

They have a pretty solid strategy though for how they view/treat women:
#59: Ask out the girl of your dreams, and
#55: Kiss Rachel McAdams , and
#22: Approach the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen and kiss her (which I often confuse with #38: kiss the Stanley Cup)

HOLY *&^$ GUYS!  Are you 13?? You are not going to fall in love if this is your strategy.  At the end of the day, the person you fall in love with should be there are the end of the day. Not checked off a list so that you can get back on the bus and proceed to your next destination.  Not girlfriends waiting at home until you’ve done all the things you want to do with your life without them.  Being in love is about finding someone to live life with.  So it would be kinda stupid and weird to live your whole life first.

Sidenote: I realize that nobody needs a significant other to somehow make them more complete. I am writing about a self-expressed wish by the boys that they fall in love. But even if you aren’t looking for love, don’t be sexist about who you share your adventures with.  Keep reading.

It seems like you have an amazing life ahead of you.  I’m not even being sarcastic this time.  You make crazy stuff happen, and you insist upon making your life be an adventure.  If that’s the case, the “girl of your dreams” will be someone who dons crazy costumes with you, looks good even after sleeping on a bus for a month, who isn’t afraid of red tape, who isn’t afraid of talking to every stranger ever, and has an insanely awesome bucket list of her own (because believe it or not, most girls have more on their bucket list than “be the dream girl a guy kisses for a second and then leaves”).

It’s not even bad to hope she shares Meghan Fox’s big asset. I’m just saying, you are NEVER going to find her by kissing beautiful strangers.  Eventually, your dream girls have GOT to become reality girls.  Let her on the road.

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